Soulmate

After the heartache I had been through in the past, my love-life became fueled by sexual encounters rather than love.  I was the classic heart-breaker.  I would date men a few times, but as soon as they tried to get close, I would run a mile.  I hurt alot of people, driven by fear, I was just so scared of being hurt.  Like many people in the world today I had decided to not have anything to do with love, and therefore escape being having my heart broken again.

One night at work, I looked up from my table to see the most beautiful pair of eyes I had ever seen.  My dream man.  He was tall, well built, olive skin, dark longish hair.  He was just beautiful.  I was in awe.  After my table shift finished, he paid for a private dance.  We talked.  He worked for a communications company, and played in a band for fun.  He lived about an hour out of the city, with his flatmate who was also in the band.  I am a groupie from way back, and when he gave me his business card, I promptly wrote my phone number down and told him to give me a call.  When he walked out of the club that night, I felt like I had just fallen in love at first sight.

It took him a week to ring, and we he did, I couldn’t even remember who he was!!!  Life was hectic, I was dating a few men, and it took me a while to remember him!  He was the same age as me, and when he asked me out for dinner, I decided to go.  We had the most beautiful meal, and just got on so well.  We talked about everything.  Music, politics, love, relationships, family.  He was funny too, and made me laugh all night.  When he asked me back to his place for more drinks, I happily complied.  After a few Wild Turkey’s (his favourite drink) we both threw our inhibitions to the wind and made love.  Quite simply, I felt like I was home.  His smell.  His taste.  His body fitted mine like a nut fits a bolt.  My heart beat so much faster when I was in his arms.  Afterwards we were both openly crying.  Finally, I found a man who felt the same way as I did.

We saw each other whenever we could.  He would come and pick me up in his old car, and we would go out.  He had a huge group of friends, and we were often with them.  I watched him play bass guitar in his band.  We had nights on the couch watching movies.  It was bliss.  As time went on, I fell deeper and deeper in love with him.  After about 3 months together he dropped a bombshell.  We were moving too fast.  He was feeling pressured and wasn’t ready for this big a commitment.  I was startled, thinking things were going so well, but mostly I was hurt.  The exact feeling I was trying to avoid.

2 weeks later, after I had spent 2 weeks crying and devastated, he called me.  He missed me.  Oh Jack, how could you do this to me?  I went back to him, and he did this over and over again.  He would break it off, then we would get back together.  We did this over and over, until finally I had had enough.

It was time to move on.  My sister Anna turned up to Melbourne, confused and upset, also running away from a break-up. When she asked if I wanted to move to Bendigo with her for a fresh start I didn’t hesistate. Our older sister lived there, and we could move in with her temporarily.  I packed, told my flatmate I was leaving, and resigned from my job at Santa Fe Gold.  I had spent a full- on dramatic year in Melbourne city.  It was time for a change.